Oh the lessons we’ve been learning!
There have been some very big ‘Ah Ha!’ moments in the McArthur household this last month. Both Tonia and I are stubborn human beings, its just who we are at our core. This stubbornness has its advantages as it allows us to be resilient in times of crisis and gives us the strength to stand up to the world when it pushes back.
However, being stubborn does have its faults as it blinds us from the fact that some of the things we are doing are not right for us. If something isn’t going as planned Tonia and I often think ‘We need to keep pushing until it does’
I think we do this partially because you often hear successful people say things like ‘You need to push through the hard times‘ or ‘If I gave up early on then I wouldn’t be here today‘
While this message has good intentions and is intended to help people to persevere through hard times it can also be confusing and not entirely true, at least for us. Yes, you will need to be persistent in your endeavours and yes you will need to work hard to accomplish any goals but there is another layer to this recipe not included in the above statements. You need to have the awareness of ‘Am I swimming against the current?‘
What does that mean?
If you see a straight line in this world that’s because man made it, there are no straight lines in nature – Tony Robbins
Here is an example:
The moment we arrived in Kelowna we knew it wasn’t right for us. We had a gut feeling. The more time went on the more this was solidified in small messages such as the building being under construction the entire time we were here, the constant break ins, our strata not taking any responsibility for issues around the complex, the fact that we were having a hard time making friends (were likable people!) and much more. Shit, it took us 4 months to get our name put on the buzzer of the building and we couldn’t even get our mail delivered here. The universe was screaming at us so loudly telling us that we don’t belong here that it wouldn’t even let us have our mail and we were ignoring all the signs!! We stubbornly thought to ourselves, ‘No! We have to push through all of this and earn our way into this new life!’
This went on for 15 months. Tonia and I reached new levels of stress and anxiety about our living conditions. We fought, we cried, we were genuinely dissatisfied and didn’t know what we should do.
Then without warning, the loudest message of all was delivered. Our landlord called us and told us that he was selling the unit and that we basically were being evicted from our home. We spent so much time not listening that eventually the universe stepped in and now in 2-3 months we wouldn’t have a home.
We were devastated. For a small minute, we wanted to pack it all in and quit (seriously). I was out of town at the time and I remember lying on my back on the air mattress in my tent just staring at the roof feeling numb. At one point in the evening I got into a confrontation with of my coworkers grabbed a beer and went for a long walk. I found a bridge over a little river, sat underneath it and like a troll drank my beer and cried one of the hardest cries of my life. I was at my boiling point. Tonia and I spoke later on that evening and we just sat in silence on the phone for minutes at a time. The constant rotation of ‘what are we doing with our lives?’ rolled through our minds. It was a very hard time for us….
Then our stubbornness kicked in and after a day or two of being sad. We picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and started looking for a new home. Tonia took a day off of work and looked for a new home for us outside of Kelowna. She sent me link after link of homes and I told her to contact everyone, I didn’t even care. There was however one place that kept coming up, even before we moved here but we never fully considered it because it wasn’t where we thought we wanted to be. Trying to be more thoughtful of the signs around us we decided to go take a look at it.
And guess what happened?
Literally one week after getting the phone call from our landlords, we solidified what I would call our Dream Home. We had been asking for lakefront property for years and suddenly it was delivered to us. With a move in date of exactly when we need to be out of our current home, fully furnished, pet friendly, amazing community of people (we’ve already made friends there), live music down the road, everything we’ve always wanted. And it was given to us so easily.
Then it dawned on us. This is why we were receiving those messages all along. Almost as if the universe was like ‘I was trying to give you this the whole time you stubborn idiots!’ This isn’t the first time something like this has happened to us either
This exact same thing happened with our wedding. We spent a year and a half planning a wedding that was such a challenge to put together and after taking some time to really think about what we wanted we adjusted and within 5 days completely re-planned our wedding. 5 days it was done what we were pushing against for a year and a half! Sound familiar?
Like him or lump him, I once heard Tony Robbins use an analogy that I feel is appropriate for this lesson. He said ‘Life is not a straight line. If you see a straight line in this world that’s because man made it, there are no straight lines in nature. The way things grow in reality is they move up in a circular pattern and then they come back a little bit and up and around. They wind their way up! Nobody goes straight up and keeps going up it doesn’t look that way‘
This made me think of the swimming against the current analogy I used earlier. Life is like a river. It takes you around corners sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes you can see what’s off in the distance, and sometimes you cant. Sometimes it actually takes you back a few steps too, but that’s what its supposed to do in order to get you where you are going and its your job not to resist and to let it take you there.
Listen to those messages, let the current take you, don’t swim upstream and if you can remember, try to enjoy it!
Source – Tonia and Colin Entrepreneurs Facebook Page