Life changes on a dime when something tragic happens to you. It can feel like your life stops. Do you know that song by Reba McIntyre with the line, “I guess the world didn’t stop for my broken heart”. True, right?

Personally, there have been times where I didn’t come back up for air for years after suffering some incredible losses in my own life. I know it can take a very long time before you’re ready to start putting one foot in front of the other again.

The hope, though, is that you will.

Let me tell you a quick story about living after loss that I witnessed as a young child that helped to transform my life.

My great grandpa, Dee, was a pretty great man and I have talked about him fondly in a bit of a memorial style blog that you can read here, called I will Plant Carrots. Anyway, this man really taught me some of my most precious and valuable lessons in life - and decades after this amazing man passed away he is still teaching me.

I recently realized that he not only instilled a vision of what unconditional love looks like but also what a lifetime of happiness can look like after healing from tremendous loss. You see, his wife and the love of his life passed away in their fifties and my Great Grandpa Dee lived to be 94 years old. His wife's hairbrush and toothbrush still rested on the bathroom sink and her robe still hung behind the door. He grew a beautiful fruit and vegetable garden, taught us great grandchildren how to do cartwheels and took us for ice cream down the street. He lived. My Great Grandpa was also born in 1900 and lived through both world wars and the Great Depression. He has seen grief, and he was such a loving and sweet man. He knew pain and suffering and he also knew healing.

We all deserve to live our extraordinary lives again, especially after grief and trauma.

... but how do you know you are ready?


The First Sign You Are Ready To Heal

You're reading this blog. 

Kidding... but also that is true. You are curious about healing - that's a pretty darn good sign you're ready to at least see what that might look like. You're curious about what other people might be doing and if they're ok being out in the real world again. You might be looking for proof that it's possible to feel ok again. 

Doing research is a sure sign that you're on your way. Maybe you're not quite ready to pounce, but you're ready to learn and that's as good a first step as any.


The Second Sign You Are Ready To Heal

You are tired. 

You are tired of:

  • feeling depressed
  • being lonely
  • being angry
  • feeling drained
  • isolating yourself
  • feeling guilty for feeling (or wanting to feel) happy
  • your own (bull)shit
Let me expand on that last note. Your own bullshit can be the fear that you give into, the excuses you make to stay stuck (in your pyjamas, in the comfort of your current situation, in your limiting beliefs) and of course feeling like you don’t deserve to be happy again. This is all overwhelming and so it feels easier to ignore it - trust me, I know - until you just can’t ignore it anymore.

 Something needs to change. And one thing we know for sure is the sun will always rise. When we’re ready to see its beauty, we are ready to get started.




The Third Sign You Are Ready To Heal


You are looking to connect. You're ready to come up for air and take a look around to see what the world has been up to since you've been busy surviving. 

Chances are things look a little differently now and that's ok. You can move as slowly or as quickly as you want now that you have made it this far.

Healing from trauma is a journey and one that doesn't have a road map or a timeline. A to of the work is done on your own but having a safe community to talk things through with can be a great way to gain perspective and to feel like you are not alone. This can be messy work, I get that. I did it alone, but you don't have to.

Here are just a few of the resources I have personally used, recommend or lead!

Books:


Podcasts:


  • Monthly subscription based community for a fraction of the cost of seeing a Registered Clinical Counsellor on your own + 4 weekly community conversations & discussions pertaining to trauma and grief symptoms and how we are moving through healing them in our own lives
  • Monthly LIVE sessions with our counsellor who specializes in grief and trauma + other special guests
  • A community of non-judgemental, supportive and beautiful humans to help you feel safe and cared for
For more information about The Good Healing Habit and how you can join today, click here.


We have important work to do!

With Purpose,

Tonia
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