The Comfort Zone Myth and How To Break Free From Fear
Five years ago I started working on myself in a new way. I was reading a different kind of book - the ones that challenged me to step out of my comfort zone.

Interesting words.

Comfort zone. Some synonyms for comfort zone:

- fear of rejection
- fear of success
- excuses
- lack of confidence
- etc

Does any of that sound familiar to you? It was for me and it was exhausting, living in my “comfort” zone.

Five years ago I started reading some pretty motivational stories written by pretty inspirational people. Deep down I knew I had a lot of work to do to because I had lost myself in so much grief over so many years of loss and emotional abuse. I’d turned into someone I didn’t want to be and five years ago I made a few drastic decisions to choose better for myself.

My comfort zone was keeping me from my own responsibility to heal. It was also keeping me from being able to process deeply rooted emotions that I didn’t have any clue how to deal with back then. Anxiety attacks, insomnia and a lot of fear ruled my life. Something had to give because I couldn’t live this way anymore.

I recognized something that was pretty tough to admit. I was just lost without a purpose. Struggling to make sense of some serious and other not-so-serious symptoms of trauma, I read and I read and I read.

The irony here is that I started my Young Living business five years ago and I was actually reading these books because they were helping me with my fear of what people might think of me for wanting to better my life. I was reading books like You Are A Badass (you can find that fabulous book here —-> You Are A Badass Book) so I could overcome those fears - and what I did was so much more than that. At the beginning of each chapter there is a quote in the middle of the page. One of those quotes changed my life and kicked my healing journey into high gear. It was a time in my life where I was feeling immense pain both physically and emotionally. I was sick, sad, lost, angry, confused.

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past” - Lily Tomlin

Read that again.

I have lived by this quote and reminded myself of it almost daily ever since. It rocked my world, this one little line compacted with everything I needed to understand that healing meant letting go of being a victim of circumstance.

I am not alone.

Are you reading this and feeling like you’re on this same journey? Or parts of it?

You don’t have to go through a car accident or an abusive relationship to feel grief or to go through a traumatic experience.

You don’t have to live in your “comfort” zone in order to avoid the pain - AND ultimately avoid the joy.

It’s been five years since You Are A Badass landed in my lap and since then I’ve read a hundred books just like it. One of the reasons I’ll stress the importance of reading (or listening to podcasts - one of my favourites is Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations, or you can also check out online reading options like Audible) is that you take a break from the looping of your own inside voice. We all have that voice which constantly seems to be chattering away to us, and if you’re not sure what I’m talking about - you haven’t become aware of this tricky little voice yet.

Typically this voice is saying things over and over to keep you safe, except safe doesn’t always mean better. In this case, safe means “you’re right, you’re definitely not good enough to try that, you might hurt yourself” or “remember what happened last time we dated someone, you got your heart broken, so no, we are saying no to that date”. That little voice can be trained to say more positive things like, “oh heck yes we are risking our damn lives, we lived last time we jumped and look at where we are now. What does Mel Robbins say? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - GO!”

It’s risky business to start your healing journey because you don’t know what will be on the other side. It’s scary to say good bye to people because you don’t know what your life will look like without them or if you’re making the right choice.

Not making a choice is also... a choice.

Your comfort zone keeps you safe in a way that you don’t have to do anything new.

Your comfort zone can be the thing keeping you small, hurt, stuck, suffering, depressed.

I decided I wanted to live my extraordinary life and not be the girl whose brother died. Who is estranged from her mother. Whose dad disappeared. Whose roommate killed himself. Five years ago those things would have defined me.

Grief and trauma take hold of your life in ways that we sometimes don’t even realize. Those deeply rooted emotions that get stuck in our bodies can do a lot of harm to us physically and emotionally.

I’m so grateful to have The Good Healing Habit to commit my efforts to sharing and healing together as a community. If you’re doing this work and you’re feeling alone, this community is for you. If you are doing this work and you want community around you to keep you accountable, this community is for you.

I wish I didn’t have to go through my healing journey alone, and so if you feel that same way, I hope you’ll join us.

Join The Good Healing Habit

With Purpose,

Tonia

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