This is an open letter all of my amazing fellow wives out there. Let me speak to you about marriage, building a life with your husband and how to communicate properly (and improperly, through mega experience). This is for the woman who is one-thousand-percent looking for an opportunity to live the life of their dreams. It's so damn nice to meet you, girl. Let's get down to business.... and marriage.

You are going to live somewhat of a different life than your spouse, your likes and dislikes can sometimes be different. You might have different hobbies from one another. Those things are completely healthy and encouraged! What I want to focus on, though, is the husbands and wives who are devoted to building goals together and taking actionable steps to secure this lifestyle. There has to be a desire to live the very best life possible together and standing beside each other as lovers and partners with one goal. To accomplish this, you both need to be on the same page. Many marriages fail because people grow apart. You couldn't possibly grow apart if you have the same goals and you're constantly working towards them. 

How do you make sure your goals remain the same?

I'm so glad you asked.

Tip #1 - Marriage Meetings

#marriagemeetings can be called by you or your spouse and when they are you both drop anything you are doing and you put 100% focus on what you or your husband needs to discuss. Not yell, not accuse, not attack. Discuss. This is an open space to come together and understand how the other is feeling - about whatever it is you need to talk about. We would, for instance, call marriage meetings if I was feeling unheard or if Colin felt like I was not giving him any of my time. We might call a marriage meeting to talk about our goals as a couple in case one or both of us felt like we'd gone off track. What marriage meetings are not is about your business. It can be about manifesting the dream house you both will have because of the success of your business, but it can not be about strategizing and blog writing. That's a business meeting. Your marriage meeting's sole purpose is to get you both back into alignment with one another emotionally, physically and spiritually. Make them meaningful, show up with an open mind and a full heart. 

Tip #2 - Share Everything With Your Husband

Also, be open for him to share everything with you. This is ugly, but do you know what is even uglier? Harbored emotions like what unmet and unvoiced expectations can cause. Resentment is fiercely dangerous to the health of your marriage and only a strong and healthy marriage can survive going into business together. So start with the truth and let your emotions and your fears are. Being vulnerable with your husband will open more doors for your relationship to flourish, which will nurture your desires to #liveyourbestlife. Don't hold back - but be kind in your sharing. The more you practice the more you realize that the scary things, like telling your husband you want something more from him, actually turn out ok. Or better! You survived AND you're getting more of what you want which makes you happy and in turn makes your husband happy, too. 

Tip #3 - Divide business based tasks according to skill and enjoyment and stay in your own lane

Your business venture is going to be amazing. Young Living Essential Oils offers the opportunity of a lifetime. That does not mean it's always going to be easy, in fact, it will be challenging. You will grow into the most incredible human - and as you're going through these changes there will be unknowns that will frighten you - do it anyway. You have a life partner by your side - that is the number one best reason to get into business with your husband right from the start. It's also the number one reason to join a team that has built and is building their life together as a husband and wife team. You can do it. We can help. 

Will every task you're good at being enjoyable? Hell no, but it needs to get done so make sure to do those tasks first and leave the fun stuff for last. It's super motivational that way! 

Before things get challenging and you've found yourself in a place where you both want to quit, because you both will just hopefully not at the same time, write down these few things and decide who is better at them and who enjoys them the most. Some can be projects you work on together and some will be the other person's responsibility. If you are a control freak or your husband is a control freak use that to your businesses advantage. Do not collaborate if this will be challenging for you. Instead, discuss what needs to be accomplished, do a clear break down of the tasks that require completing and divide them up based on skill and enjoyment. Make sure you both get what you need and you leave emotions out of this portion of your partnership. If emotions do arise, call a marriage meeting and get to the bottom of what is going on. Likely the issue is a core fundamental problem and only being triggered by a business matter. 

LOVE one another and be courageous together. You will make mistakes but learn from them and appreciate them as a stepping stone to your success. This will be true in both your success as a married couple and as successful entrepreneurs. Beyond all else, you choose each other first and never falter. Nothing comes before your marriage. 

Read that last line again. 

To have a successful business with your husband, he must be your sun and your stars and he must always think that you hung the moon. Live in that space and you can and you will get through absolutely everything if you continue to grow and check in with one another. This work never ends, it just becomes deep, more meaningful and changes the definition of intimacy. 

Cheers to your marriage and to the start of your 

With Purpose,

Tonia

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