Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future – Dan Pena
Unbeknownst to me I had begun this process years before I heard this statement. I had a circle of friends that I had hung out with since I was 16 years old. We did EVERYTHING together…which to be fair was mostly partying. As I got older and some unfortunate drama occurred in my life I was forced to question the relationships that I kept. It was hard for me to trust anyone and worst of all I was becoming a shell of the person I used to be. I was constantly approval seeking from them and I felt alone in their company. Worst of all it was taking a huge toll on my relationship with Tonia.
We often hear about the importance of cleaning up the food we eat or the products we use or maybe even the mindset that we have but I find it rare that you hear about cleaning up the relationships that you keep. Maybe its because its controversial or maybe its because sometimes, as in the case with Tonia, you have to say goodbye to family. It is however, in my opinion, the most important step to take if you are striving for more in life.
I want to be clear, I’m not suggesting that you go and tell all your friends and family to take a hike. If you are happy and content with your life then you’ve won as far as I am concerned. This message is for those that are unhappy with their circumstances and want to do something to move forward.
Here’s a quick tip: surround yourself with the people you want to be like. Its that easy!
For Tonia and I it was simple. We want to be business professionals and online marketers. We want to be influencers and mentors. We want to have extraordinary experiences and deep relationships.
The world is so well connected these days that meeting people has never been easier. You can connect with people on Facebook groups, forums, blogging communities (hello all my new friends!) its literally endless
For me I wanted a mentor! I wanted someone who would take me under their wing and help guide me through my shit. Problem was I didn’t actually know of anyone. Then one day I realized that there are so many people teaching online that I could just connect with them. There are also so many online influencers to follow and mentor myself with that I don’t even necessarily need to be friends with them for their thoughts to rub off on me. Ill give you an example:
Remember that quote at the beginning of this blog? That statement was made by Dan Pena. They call Dan the 50 Billion Dollar man because he has helped coach other businessmen into acquiring an estimated 50 Billion Dollars in wealth. Dan accredits a large part of his success to his no bullshit, militaristic style of coaching. He yells, swears, makes people cry, sometimes even slaps his mentees. Yup, he actually puts his hands on you if he thinks you need it.
Dan gives most if not all of his coaching away for free except for one specialized coaching program. The cost is upwards of $20,000 and he will fly you out to Guthrie Castle (Yes, Dan lives in a castle). The intention is to have you touch, see, smell and experience opulence at a level that you have never known before with the hopes that this will rub off on you. While this sort of lifestyle is not for everyone the methodology makes complete sense.
He is loud, super aggressive, very alpha male and something that I am not. I am quiet, shy, meek, not opinionated and well…a door mat. And its because of these traits that I had been taken advantage of my whole life. Its how I lost those friends that I spoke of earlier. I was betrayed and made a fool right in front of all of them but because I was so weak they knew they could do it to me. I needed to learn more assertiveness and have self respect in order to get closer to the life that I wanted. So, I started mentoring myself through Dan’s teachings and words!
I listened to every interview I could find of Dan’s. I read every book or blog of his that I could find. I immersed myself in all of his work for a good 8 months as to absorb the parts of his personality that I wanted for my own. Something pretty amazing began to happen…people started treating me with more respect.
Its amazing how things change when you become more self respectful and assertive. I think I confused assertiveness with aggression. Being assertive raises the bar for yourself and the things you want out of life. Aggression is throwing a temper tantrum when you don’t get those things or are met with challenges along the way. As an example: one of the ‘rules’ that I have set forth for myself and others is that I do not disrespect someones time and I also expect that in return. If I have a phone call scheduled or a meeting scheduled for 10 am then that meeting or phone call begins promptly at 10 am. Not 9:59 and not 10:01. Another great quote (I can’t even remember where I heard it from) is ‘you are either on time, or you are late!’
I’ve actually cancelled meetings with people because they were 5 minutes late. Yea, I could have brushed it off and just sat down with them anyways but by allowing that sort of behaviour to be acceptable you are setting a standard. The funny thing is once I made it clear I do not accept tardiness people started showing up on time. Assertive…not aggressive! This is just one of the MANY lessons that I have learned through my online self mentoring. I wont show up for meetings late, so you best not either!
More on this topic later…
Earlier this week I read a blog, Little Green Fingers: top 10 children’s gardening accessories, which really struck me. All of a sudden I was having these nostalgic feelings and memories of my Great Grandpa Dee came flooding back to me. So today, I want to share with all of you a look into a relationship, probably the most important one I’ve ever had in my life, that has continued to teach me the most valuable lessons even 22 years after his death.
Almost everything I needed to know was taught to me in Chase, BC by a man I have admired more than anyone in all of my 33 years of life. He instilled values in me that are fiercely strong. No one else has ever moved me as much as my Great Grandpa Dee has moved me. I’ve never been more proud of a human, than of him.
Let’s back up.
My Great Grandpa Dee was born in 1900, which I always thought was the most amazing thing in the world as a child. I still do. He came to Canada as Pol Polson, where authorities changed his name to Paul Paulson. He was Dutch. He was so handsome. He was my Great Grandpa Dee. GG Dee was a part (until I can clarify with family in what capacity, this will have to do for now) in WWI and I remember every year we’d tie ribbons around our tree in the front yard to show our thanks in support of his service to our country and fellow men. I never knew exactly what he did in the war, but I was just so proud of him.
I could always tell how fiercely my dad loved and looked up to this man, even though I was very young. I felt the same way. I was so impressed that he kept in the shape he did for as old as he was. At 91 he couldn’t hear a word anyone said, but that summer, he taught his adoring great granddaughter how to do a cartwheel in his front yard. I remember staring at him in awe while he stood on his front step cheering me on to try. He’d come down to the grass to show me again. My 91 year old Great Grandfather. Doing cartwheels. How in the world do you grow up without the lesson of resilience with this role model in your life? This snap shot is ingrained in my memory, thankfully having a photographic memory. I can even remember how I felt in this moment; an unconditional love. Respect.
One of my fondest memories was when I was quite young, my brother Daniel was a year old so I would have been 8 that summer. We were out in the backyard where my Great Grandpa Dee had his own vegetable garden that he still grew, still, in his 90’s! This must have been the year after he’d taught me to do a cartwheel, but I assure you he wasn’t finished with his lifelong lessons for me quite yet. He had at least two more to show me before he could go home to his wife in heaven (more on that in a minute).
It was time to pick vegetables for dinner, and boy did I hate vegetables (can anyone guess the lesson here since Colin and I are vegetarian?!). We were having potatoes and *gulp* CARROTS for dinner! “No, Grandpa!” I begged him. I begged him some more as he ushered me out the back door and down into the garden. I begged some more and finally he tapped me on the shoulder and he said, “Shhh! I’m going to tell you a little secret. You have to eat the vegetables you pick, that’s my rule in my garden. (In real life right now I felt the sudden urge to sob, so I’m totally bawling. Sometimes even I can’t believe the bond I had with this man, that I carry with me to today.)
My 92 year old Great Grandpa Dee reached down without breaking our eye contact. He swiftly pulled up a giant carrot from the ground. I was in agony looking at that carrot, because back then, and today, I hated carrots. If those were the size of the carrots, I for sure was doomed! Obviously seeing the terror in my eyes, GG Dee said, “Now, Tonia, do you see how big this carrot is? Look at the leaves. Are those leaves big like the carrot?”
Yes! They were!
“Can you see leaves the size of the carrot you would like to eat?”
I scanned that whole garden, and announced that I could not! But Great Grandpa Dee told me to look some more. Suddenly, he brushed away some big leaves and one teeny tiny leaf stuck out from the ground. I smirked and looked up at my grandpa and he was smiling so big. I pulled the leaf and out popped the tiniest carrot I have ever seen.
Great Grandpa Dee loudly announced, “Tonia’s picked her carrot for dinner! You have to eat that whole thing. What you pick, you eat!”.
I was no fool, I knew exactly what he had done for me that day. He winked.
On my plate at dinner time was the tiniest carrot that took me only two bites to eat, and while I gagged it down, those were some of the best bites of carrot I’ll ever have. While it wasn’t apparent until the last few years of my life, Great Grandpa Dee taught me to appreciate nature, to understand what nourishment, in food and relationships, your yard has to offer you and just how delicious raspberries from his raspberries bushes were. The only raspberries I’ve ever liked! He taught me to appreciate working hard for my food and for what I want, but also to understand that it is ok to compromise. I’ve longed for a big backyard with a garden my whole life, like a part of me has been missing ever since he passed away. This is something I am most looking forward to having once Colin and I find our property.
And I will plant carrots.
Grandpa Dee had the same house he’d always lived in and hadn’t changed a thing since his wife, Helen passed away, something a little less than 50ish years before him, if I remember correctly. One day, in his old man burgundy slip on slippers, which I loved to wear when he wasn’t, he turned on his very old fashioned radio (which I was amazed by!) and he told me a story about Helen. He loved her so much, and I’d never really heard a love story before like theirs. Her silk robe still hung behind his bathroom door and her hair brush still sat on the bathroom counter beside the sink. It was as if she had still lived there all of those years, yet she’d not been home for more than 45.
I don’t remember much about what he told me of her, except that he never stopped loving her and that he thought of her every single day. At some point, as I watched him talk about her, I asked him if he missed her. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but something like, “Oh yes, but I’ll see her again soon!”.
I asked him, “Do you think she’s waiting for you at the top of the stairway to heaven, Grandpa Dee?” and his eyes twinkled. Before he could answer, I said, “Actually, by then Grandpa, I hope for you she’s waiting at the top of the escalator because that’s a lot of stairs! Do they have an escalator to heaven?”
What man, after all these years, loved his wife enough to be the most content in his life, even without her, after her death, because of how sure he was of their bond. Of their love. He never wavered. He built an amazing life even after her, but honoured her every second of the day until he died. This was a lesson I only this last year figured out. He heavily instilled this incredible value of love and loyalty into me, listening to his stories. He taught me not to settle for anything less than the kind of marriage he and Helen had. My marriage would be the most important thing in my life, too. And it is!
Colin has asked me where this value came from and it was just suddenly that I put the connection together. These three lessons have shaped the woman I am today and I bawled my damn eyes out writing this blog. I relived moments today I haven’t thought of with this much clarity in many, many years. Pol Polson taught me unconditional love, resilience, kindness, humour, compromise and he did it with grace.
He phoned me just before he died to say goodbye. That was more than 22 years ago now. I hope he knows these words and he feels this deep and overwhelming love I poured into this blog for him today. I have lost a lot of people in my life, including best friends, room mates, my brother with whom I was extremely close… and I have been asked, at different stages of my life, if I could talk to anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?
I’ve never hesitated.
I would talk to my Great Grandpa Dee, so I can ask him if Helen was waiting at the top of the escalator.
And more importantly, to let him know I will plant carrots.
With purpose, and a thousand tears,
Creating a Life On Purpose can mean many things to many people. Some chose to pursue financial freedom, some choose to travel, some choose to spend more time with their families. There is no right or wrong, what matters is having a clear reason for why you do the things you do…and then just do them
For me, Colin, my WHY is quite simple. I choose to do what I am doing so I can be a musician.
I know what you are thinking already…
‘Why don’t you just go be a musician then?‘ – inner dialogue
For those of you who might not fully appreciate the trails and tribulations a musician goes through let me see if I can help explain.
Long gone are the days of musicians actually having a fighting chance at a decent living. Creating a life as a full-time musician might be one of the most challenging ways to make money and leaves you with literally not enough hours in a day and not enough money to live off of. Music is at its best when performed live so of course that is the first place that most people want to pursue a living in. Its a ton of fun, stress relieving, social, and well, just the best!
However, when you first start out as a group most musicians succumb to the ‘play for exposure’ scenario. Now to be fair, musicians should NEVER agree to do this as it diminished the value of your work and also sets a precedent that your product or service carries little to no value. But it is what happens and for some reason we all do it.
People are not willing to spend $5 to come see your show or buy your album or some merchandise but will gladly spend twice the amount on a Chocolate Mocha Orange Alpuccino. Its incredibly infuriating to see just how little people are willing to give back to musicians yet depend on it so heavily in their day to day lives. Albums, merchandise and digital downloads are the tangible things that the consumer gets to take home and incorporate into their own lives. Its stuff that people want, use and need but for some reason expect should just be available at no cost.
Live shows are the one thing that helps to support musicians but when you’re collecting gas money it really becomes a challenge making a living wage. For a short period of time I played with a 19 piece Big Band. The music was challenging, the people were supportive and the work was fun. The problem was that I was spending about 25 HRS per week studying to only have the opportunity to gig once, maybe twice a month for a $100 paycheck. Lets say it was a good month and we played 2 shows, that would mean that my income from that stream was $200/100 HRS of study time. That would mean my time was worth $2 per hour. No one would ever accept a day job, no matter how much they loved the work for $2 HR. Its impossible to sustain a living.
Teaching is the ‘day job’ of the average musician. There are many ways that this can be done but typically its done in one-on-one sessions with an instructor educating and directing a student through their own musical journey. Now this is all fine and dandy but the challenges within this is that teaching, as much as some might think, doesn’t really pay that well. I’ve worked for schools that pay $30 HR which sounds great on paper but you might only have 3-4 students at half hour sessions per day. And all too often those students wouldn’t be scheduled back to back, they would be spread out over 5 hours. When I was teaching some days I was literally driving across town to make $30-60 for 5-6 hrs of my time.
Others have figured out that you need to be online. Now don’t get me wrong, there are a few guys and gals out there doing an incredible job of making a living as an online musician. They offer online courses, eBooks, education, gear reviews, Skype lessons and do it at a level that is astounding. But for the average musician who doesn’t have the financial backing or the technical ability to develop a website, create education material for a niche, market and advertise and develop a reputation online this just doesn’t make sense. It takes years to grow in this way and just isn’t attainable for most
Session work is another way to create an income as a musician. Now unless you live in cities like L.A, New York, or Nashville you’re not really going to have a ton of opportunity to knock on doors to ask if someone needs a session player. Luckily, this can be solved with the advent of some incredible technology. Musicians can set up home studios and record just about anything with better results than ever before. The challenge here is that studio gear is INSANELY expensive and even more complicated to figure out.
Personally, I spent about 5 years of my life actively pursuing any and all of these areas to barely be able to make rent payments. Its a struggle and not one that I wanted to live anymore.
There was however a solution this entire problem right in front of me….
During my time with the Big Band I got to know some of the guys quite well. They we’re all retired or semi retired guys in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. One gentleman, the drummer of the band stood out the most to me. I actually taught at his school so I got to get to know him well. He was tall, quirky, kind of awkward but also hilarious, foul mouthed and just an all around cool guy. He wore suits, drove a Mercedes AMG, lived in a gorgeous house in an upscale neighborhood and just walked around with a nonchalant attitude towards most things. It was as if he was never stressed about anything and seemed to know something the rest of us didn’t
One night after playing a wedding reception at a very nice Italian restaurant, we both sat down at a table and split a bottle of Limoncello. I’m actually suddenly realizing that this might be where my love for Limoncello came from. While we drank and shared stories of our love for Jazz and all things music I interrupted the conversation with a question. I wanted to know how it was that he was able to make so much money with music and how I could do the same?
He laughed at me and said ‘I’m not rich because I made a living as a musician, I’m rich because I made all my money outside of music’
He continued to explain that a very young age he was in Real Estate. One home turned into two homes which turned into a fourplex and on and on. Eventually he was able to purchase the Heritage Building that his very school was taught from. He had about 6 other tenants that rented from him in that building and he kept his school tucked away in the basement. He literally played the real life version of Monopoly.
He told me ‘No one makes this kind of money as a musician unless you’re Beyonce or something like that. I chose early on to build an empire outside of the music industry so I could spend the rest of my life playing music on my terms. I study what I want, I play what I want, I socialize with who I want, I do what I want. And because I don’t have the stress of collecting a paycheck I get to enjoy it more’
It was in that conversation that I realized that I had this whole thing backwards. My mindset was that I needed to work my way up a ladder in an industry that had about 20 rungs missing in the middle. How was I, or anyone for that matter able to get to the next rung?
One of my current favorite VLOGS is from Bob Reynolds who plays sax for Snarky Puppy. He talks about the importance of having a cushion for yourself when you choose to be a musician. Its the most strategic and best way to really give yourself a fighting chance out there. The world changed, and that’s fine. So I decided that instead of fighting the fact that being a musician didn’t look like it did in the 60’s and 70’s I was going to need a cushion…but what was my cushion going to be?
There are many reasons why Tonia and I chose Network Marketing. Yes, we want to be financially independent, who doesn’t? Yes, we want to buy land and build our dream home. Yes, we want to travel to where ever we want whenever we want.
Mostly, we chose our company because their belief system is exactly in line with ours. We use the products religiously, believe in the organization and can therefore speak authentically to people about why we chose to align ourselves with them. We also chose this company because they give back to the world through their philanthropy work in ways that a company should when they have huge success.
For me there is one more layer to why I chose this industry. Its because it actually gives people like myself a fighting chance! And just like the advice given to me over that bottle of Limoncello, It let’s me make money outside of the music industry so I can do whatever I want inside of the industry without the stresses associated with it.
THIS is my cushion….and it could be yours too!!
Oh the lessons we’ve been learning!
There have been some very big ‘Ah Ha!’ moments in the McArthur household this last month. Both Tonia and I are stubborn human beings, its just who we are at our core. This stubbornness has its advantages as it allows us to be resilient in times of crisis and gives us the strength to stand up to the world when it pushes back.
However, being stubborn does have its faults as it blinds us from the fact that some of the things we are doing are not right for us. If something isn’t going as planned Tonia and I often think ‘We need to keep pushing until it does’
I think we do this partially because you often hear successful people say things like ‘You need to push through the hard times‘ or ‘If I gave up early on then I wouldn’t be here today‘
While this message has good intentions and is intended to help people to persevere through hard times it can also be confusing and not entirely true, at least for us. Yes, you will need to be persistent in your endeavours and yes you will need to work hard to accomplish any goals but there is another layer to this recipe not included in the above statements. You need to have the awareness of ‘Am I swimming against the current?‘
What does that mean?
If you see a straight line in this world that’s because man made it, there are no straight lines in nature – Tony Robbins
Here is an example:
The moment we arrived in Kelowna we knew it wasn’t right for us. We had a gut feeling. The more time went on the more this was solidified in small messages such as the building being under construction the entire time we were here, the constant break ins, our strata not taking any responsibility for issues around the complex, the fact that we were having a hard time making friends (were likable people!) and much more. Shit, it took us 4 months to get our name put on the buzzer of the building and we couldn’t even get our mail delivered here. The universe was screaming at us so loudly telling us that we don’t belong here that it wouldn’t even let us have our mail and we were ignoring all the signs!! We stubbornly thought to ourselves, ‘No! We have to push through all of this and earn our way into this new life!’
This went on for 15 months. Tonia and I reached new levels of stress and anxiety about our living conditions. We fought, we cried, we were genuinely dissatisfied and didn’t know what we should do.
Then without warning, the loudest message of all was delivered. Our landlord called us and told us that he was selling the unit and that we basically were being evicted from our home. We spent so much time not listening that eventually the universe stepped in and now in 2-3 months we wouldn’t have a home.
We were devastated. For a small minute, we wanted to pack it all in and quit (seriously). I was out of town at the time and I remember lying on my back on the air mattress in my tent just staring at the roof feeling numb. At one point in the evening I got into a confrontation with of my coworkers grabbed a beer and went for a long walk. I found a bridge over a little river, sat underneath it and like a troll drank my beer and cried one of the hardest cries of my life. I was at my boiling point. Tonia and I spoke later on that evening and we just sat in silence on the phone for minutes at a time. The constant rotation of ‘what are we doing with our lives?’ rolled through our minds. It was a very hard time for us….
Then our stubbornness kicked in and after a day or two of being sad. We picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and started looking for a new home. Tonia took a day off of work and looked for a new home for us outside of Kelowna. She sent me link after link of homes and I told her to contact everyone, I didn’t even care. There was however one place that kept coming up, even before we moved here but we never fully considered it because it wasn’t where we thought we wanted to be. Trying to be more thoughtful of the signs around us we decided to go take a look at it.
And guess what happened?
Literally one week after getting the phone call from our landlords, we solidified what I would call our Dream Home. We had been asking for lakefront property for years and suddenly it was delivered to us. With a move in date of exactly when we need to be out of our current home, fully furnished, pet friendly, amazing community of people (we’ve already made friends there), live music down the road, everything we’ve always wanted. And it was given to us so easily.
Then it dawned on us. This is why we were receiving those messages all along. Almost as if the universe was like ‘I was trying to give you this the whole time you stubborn idiots!’ This isn’t the first time something like this has happened to us either
This exact same thing happened with our wedding. We spent a year and a half planning a wedding that was such a challenge to put together and after taking some time to really think about what we wanted we adjusted and within 5 days completely re-planned our wedding. 5 days it was done what we were pushing against for a year and a half! Sound familiar?
Like him or lump him, I once heard Tony Robbins use an analogy that I feel is appropriate for this lesson. He said ‘Life is not a straight line. If you see a straight line in this world that’s because man made it, there are no straight lines in nature. The way things grow in reality is they move up in a circular pattern and then they come back a little bit and up and around. They wind their way up! Nobody goes straight up and keeps going up it doesn’t look that way‘
This made me think of the swimming against the current analogy I used earlier. Life is like a river. It takes you around corners sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes you can see what’s off in the distance, and sometimes you cant. Sometimes it actually takes you back a few steps too, but that’s what its supposed to do in order to get you where you are going and its your job not to resist and to let it take you there.
Listen to those messages, let the current take you, don’t swim upstream and if you can remember, try to enjoy it!
Source – Tonia and Colin Entrepreneurs Facebook Page
Building the life of your dreams is going to be a total piece of cake, right?
Well, a total piece of cake comes from an entire cake, which starts from putting together a few ingredients that someone bought from a store, drove home, measured and prepared before mixing altogether and baking in a pan they bought from another store. While that’s baking in the oven, the icing is being made and then each layer is placed on top of one another with icing in between each layer before more icing is spread over the whole finished cake. Sprinkles, too.
And then voila! Piece of cake.
Building a dream life, or rather, putting a plan together and executing that plan, can sometimes mean doing things you don’t want to do. This week, and next, Colin is away so that we can continue to push our business in the right direction. We don’t often spend very much time apart, and truth be told, until we moved to Kelowna, we hadn’t spent more than a few nights apart since moving in together 5.5 years ago. I’m not going to lie, these trips out of town are really hard on both of us, although necessary to keep us moving. And then the incredible feeling of knowing your husband will do absolutely anything that he can to support his family makes my heart swell.
A little insight.
For my entire life I have suffered from Insomnia, which off and on has been eradicated with balancing my body using our amazing essential oils plus a healthy dose of yoga and meditation. We also have this lovely little device that scans the body and emits frequencies to detect if any biomarkers are unbalanced. It then makes suggestions based on this analysis on what to use to help put the body back into balance. If we use this device on a regular basis, guess what happens? Yup, our bodies and minds feel much more balanced and relaxed, which in turn will, of course, help us sleep.
This was a really neat thing, since we weren’t really using anything to ‘treat’ my insomnia. One day I just realized that I’d slept through the night and then again and again. As I dive deeper into my healing journey (more on this later), I realize that as my focus shifts to releasing old emotional trauma (from nooks and crannies in my body) I am better able to rest and relax. When this happens, of course, restful sleep also happens.
So, Colin is away and my poor heart aches when he’s gone, but for the last two nights I have slept like a baby, which is not usually the case when he’s away. Last night while we talked on the phone I teased him about this! I said maybe he snores or something, which has been waking me up all this time (of course it’s probably a little bit true, but since I’ve never been a good sleeper, it can’t all be his fault. Surely?). Anyways, I wake up this morning and AGAIN I have slept through the night! Three miraculous nights in a freaking row! Totally amazing.
Then I realized, I actually dreamt last night for the first time in a long time.
And my heart sank. I dreamt about my husband, which, almost never happens. My dream was that he had come home early, snuck back into bed to wrap his arms around me and then whispered, “Guess what! I’m staying home! So it’s pancake day!”
I guess I must really miss him this time, huh?
With 12 or so more days to go, I’ll save this cute little dream in my memory as a sweet little reminder of how much this man means to me – and how much our future means to both of us. It always comes back to making a better life and pushing towards having that freedom so he never has to leave again. Sounds a little bit like that piece of cake, doesn’t it?
Right now it sounds an awful lot like we’re picking up all of those ingredients on the list. Pretty soon though, we’ll be done measuring, we’ll have that cake in the oven and we’ll be licking some delicious icing off of the whisks and spoons.
It has been years since we started manifesting our dream home and it took us most of those years to figure out so many of the details. Was it modern? Log cabin with an A frame? Where was it even located? High up overlooking the lake or right on the water?
We know all of the details now, with exception of exactly where the land is, though we know the area where we will live. The time spent doing this has been what propels us forward on days where we just don’t feel like it. It being the work it takes to build our business, which helps not only us to achieve our dreams, but those of our team members’ as well. In our business, everything I do helps my people. And everything my people do helps their people.
So yesterday we really sat down and wrote out our goals and I am reminded that our dream home isn’t so far away. It’s like that saying, “You’ve got what it takes, but it’s going to take everything you’ve got!”. No kidding. When you’re first starting out towards a huge goal, it’s daunting, terrifying and seemingly impossible. This is probably why so many people throw their hands up and say, “I quit!”. Haven’t you thought to quit?
Steve Jobs once said:
“I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”
Staying the course. You can choose the vehicle you take but you don’t get to choose how long the route is. It’s the unknown variable – and it’s the unknown that scares the living bejesus out of us. Do you know who wins? Not the rabbit, we all know this story. You have to be determined to stay the course no matter the length and no matter the weather. Why? The time is going to pass anyways, so why not?!
And then sometimes you have to think about it from the angle of that dream home and the land you want to buy in Naramata. The way to get there is to work as hard as you can for as long as it takes to get there. The trick, though, is that you have to be committed to learning the skills required along the way. There needs to be progress or else you’re simply spinning your tires, wearing yourself out. That will happen sometimes, so reassess, pick a new skill you need and go out and read about it. With this age of the internet being what it is, any length of education in any spectrum of subject is widely available! This is your time!
Time is not a fair measurement of success. When you consider time as a part of success (how little of it it took you to reach your goals), all you end up doing is comparing yourself to people who did it better, faster – which is not only insane, but also impossible since you weren’t born by their parents, with their DNA, into their heritage, go to their school and obtain their grades or have their friends and connections or hardships that propelled them into …. you get my point.
You do you.
We have been planning our lives on purpose now for almost two years, thoughtfully. We have fallen flat on our faces multiple times, wanted to rip our hair out, we’ve cried, fought, yelled, laughed, celebrated, sighed with relief and high fived.
And through it all, we’ve come halfway to our larger-than-life goal. When we made this goal we were renting a condo in McKenzie Towne, Calgary, AB, Canada. For years we had talked about moving to Kelowna/Okanagan and made excuses year after year. And then, after spinning our wheels for too long, we started our business – stopped making excuses – and executed a plan that had us moving to the Okanagan within six months of starting our business and only seven months after getting married.
Hey – this is simple but it’s not easy. But here we are after a yoga class outside of an Okanagan Winery enjoying a glass of Pinot Gris and amazed at the life we’re slowly affording ourselves – just for sticking to it! We’re not extraordinary. We just know what we want and we’re not going to settle for anything less.
Carry on with us! Ask us how to join our team and build your goals with support from our incredible community.
What an adorable way to keep your little ones healthy with minimal ingredient and completely toxin free products. You know that is our absolute favourite topic to talk about and so for all of you moms or moms to be out there, we have some really awesome products we want to review for you!
The seedlings line is completely free of all synthetic and toxic ingredients. All of their products are formulated without alcohol, parabens, phthalates, petrochemicals, animal derived ingredients, synthetic preservatives, synthetic fragrances or synthetic dyes.
This gentle, non-greasy moisturizer is completely, 100% plant based and formulated without any synthetic or toxic ingredients. All new or soon to be moms want the best possible products to keep their babies safe from harm, and this Seedlings line does not disappoint.
Wholesale pricing: $22.00 CAD
This oil is formulated with all plant based ingredients and specifically made without the use of mineral oils. All dilutions are made with your baby’s delicate skin in mind and the Seedling’s baby oil is also vegan friendly. This oil is meant to help soothe and calm your little one before bed time to help promote a restful sleep. It’s soft, gentle, nourishing, dermatologist tested and hypoallergenic.
Wholesale Pricing: $22.50 CAD
You’ll never have to worry about what’s in your baby shampoo and body wash ever again, is tear free and only very lightly scented with pure essential oils, properly diluted and formulated for your baby’s delicate skin. Of course, derived from only 100% plant based ingredients & vegan friendly, the Seedlings Baby Wash is sulphate-free, rinses clean without over-drying and makes those tangles very easy to come through!
Wholesale pricing: $28.00 CAD
These baby wipes are so gentle and can absolutely double as a gentle make up remover, ladies. They are truly soft, thick and versatile. The perfect formulation to ensure that your baby’s skin is moisturized with each use while providing and thorough cleansing. Only the most gentle and beneficial botanicals were used in these Seedlings Baby Wipes and of course, they are formulated only with 100% plant derived ingredients, making them vegan friendly and absolutely safe for your baby’s delicate skin.
Wholesale pricing: $11.00 CAD
This is a product that moms really want to be sure is safe, gentle and completely non-toxic for their baby’s bottoms. Diaper rash is a common concern and why we are especially happy to be referring a product from this Seedlings line that offers worry free protection from all plant based ingredients and is dermatologist tested and hypoallergenic. This cream helps to relieve and prevent diaper rash and also reduces the severity of the rash when applied at the first sign of redness on your little one’s bum. The Seedlings diaper rash cream acts as a barrier to irritants, which is how it helps to prevent the diaper rash from happening in the first place. Poor babies bottoms!
The seedlings line offers something all moms are looking for when it comes to their wee ones. Knowing that all products are completely free of toxic and synthetic free chemicals is enough to feel confident in this line, in addition to the completely plant based and vegan friendly ingredients. There is an amazing amount of confidence we will always have referring moms to these products and even purchasing any of the Seedlings products for gifts to our mom friends!
For years we have been talking about the importance of removing toxic chemicals from your products. Your baby’s skin is even more absorbent and sensitive than ours is, and it’s up to us to choose the best quality products to keep our babies healthy! This includes personal care products that we use on our baby’s skin.
This is truly wonderful news! To order your Seedlings Line, connect with us or the person who invited you to our Wellness Purpose Abundance Online class!
Tonia & Colin
OK, so you’re not completely unaware of all of these foodies out there talking about eating clean. Perhaps you know some friends who are gluten free and you’re just wondering… why?
Or how? What is the fuss about?
Before we personally made any changes to our diet we were both constantly tired, Colin had headaches every single day (read more about that here), we were bloated without realizing it and our bodies were screaming. We couldn’t hear the screaming though because we’d always been eating this way and it seemed perfectly normal. Normal to (TMI ALERT!) be constipated occasionally? Normal to have the opposite problem on occasion? Is it normal to be eating what you have been taught is healthy, work out every single day (at the time) and get sick often? Does this make sense?
There were other (many) tell tale signs that our bodies were screaming at us but not loud enough for us to hear until, one day, reality hit us. We were devastated but grateful – we were still young enough and not sick! We could make major changes, and we were so willing to, in order to understand our bodies signals and work with them instead of hoping for the best, or being completely unaware!
We did a complete overhaul that took a few years to figure out, but we did it safely and we did it smart.
We compiled a list of all of the nutrients, minerals and vitamins that a body in our age ranges required to function optimally. This list broken down into foods high in each then became our shopping list and then once we were home with our groceries (most of these food items we’d never purchased before), we then figured out how to cook meals with them.
Sounds pretty complicated when we lay it all out like that, doesn’t it?
This was a lifetime ago for us and now we have realized that we are so passionate about lifestyle changes that support your body and mind that we have put together a simple system to share with you. We are now offering one-on-one consultations to help brand newbies get started without the weight of the world on your shoulders – oh and also offer coaching for the first few weeks as you really get your feet wet.
Here’s what we’re offering:
After 4 weeks, meeting up to four times for half an hour via ZOOM call (in addition to action plans), you will be able to confidently:
Your consultations are 100% custom made and we’re here to simply coach you into understanding how your body works by creating awareness and offering simple tips and action plans to really go out and DO instead of constantly wondering if this is for you or not. We promise, it is. This is for everyone.
Spend four weeks with us to redesign the foods and products you actually want in your life and why – and feel confident to continue this lifestyle change after our four week program. That’s the whole point! We want to show you just how simple and easy this can be, you just have to want to be committed to putting some time and effort into wanting to feel better! Who doesn’t want that?
A special offer for NEW members only: If you want to take a leap of faith and join our company with one of the three available starter kits, we’ll offer you this lifestyle consultation package completely free!
Contact us for pricing and availability!
Tonia & Colin
This is not our regularly scheduled blog post. Folks, Tonia here to bring some of the most amazing announcements to our business page and here on the blog. If you have followed our page on Facebook or Instagram, you would know that we are super passionate about clean products – and even more passionate about making our own so that we can be sure they are 100% premium quality AND minimal ingredients. That’s my whole shtick – if I can, I’ll make a product with 4 or less ingredients if I’m able to.
Well, there’s this little makeup line founded by a woman we look up to and respect who saw a need that wasn’t being met. What do we want in a clean beauty product?
We want non-toxic, minimal ingredient (when possible) and we didn’t want beauty at the sacrifice or expense of our health. Now our needs are being met and all of this is available to all of us – and YOU! Gluten free, vegan friendly (with the exception of the lipstick as it contains beeswax), completely plant & mineral based make-up!
We’re going to break this down now, so without further ado!
This product was originally formulated two and a half years ago because there was a need to be filled for women who wanted to wear make up but didn’t want to compromise their health. Now, you don’t have to! Email us for information on how to order your own Savvy Minerals, now available in Canada!
Here’s my before & after full Savvy Minerals face! I’m in love.
For blue veins, more pink skin undertones. (Tip: Take a look at the inside of your wrists, what colour do your veins look?)
For green veins, more yellow skin undertones. (Tip: If you’re not sure which number to choose, start with 2. You can always add #1 if it’s too dark or add #3 if it’s too light.)
And dark tones, too.
Get out your misting spray (see below) onto your foundation brush, then your foundation minerals and apply. This is a buildable formula, which means you can add on if you would like to have more coverage.
https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FYLeducationalevents%2Fvideos%2F1570622919748058%2F&show_text=0&width=560” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>Warm or Cool?
(The May Contain section indicates the potential natural colours for each different product)
May contain: Mica (CI 77019), Titanium dioxide (CI 77891), Manganese violet (CI 77742), Iron oxides (CI 77491), Iron oxides (CI 77492), Iron oxides (CI77499)
Wholesale pricing: $55.50 CAD
Four shades of lipstick available:
May contain: Titanium dioxide (CI 77891), Iron oxides, Manganese violet, Mica, Tin Oxide
Wholesale Pricing: $28.50 CAD
Two shades of lip gloss available:
May Contain: Mica (CI 77019), Titanium dioxide (CI 77891), Iron oxides (CI 77491), Manganese violet (CI 77742)
Wholesale pricing: $34.50 CAD
Three shades of blush available:
May contain: Mica (CI 77019), Titanium dioxide (CI 77891), Manganese violet (CI 77742), Iron oxides (CI 77491), Iron oxides (CI 77492), Iron oxides (77499), Ultramarines (CI 77007)
Wholesale pricing: $35.00 CAD
Two shades of bronzer available:
May contain: Mica (CI 77019), Titanium dioxide (CI 77891) Iron oxides (CI 77491), Iron oxides (CI 77492), Iron oxides (CI 77499)
Wholesale Pricing: $35.00 CAD
Eight shades of eyeshadow available:
May contain: Mica (CI 77019), Titanium dioxide (CI 77891), Iron oxides (CI 77491), Iron oxides (CI 77492), Iron oxides (CI 77499), Ultramarine (CI 77007)
Use dry as an eyeliner or wet an angled brush for a more liquid eyeliner finish! Use the Jet Setter for both eyeliner or for a smokey eyeshadow! Talk about bang for your buck when purchasing mineral make up this universal!
May contain: Iron oxides (CI 77499), Mica (CI 77019), Titanium Dioxide (CI 77891)
Wholesale pricing: $19.75 CAD
This universal and multi-dimensional rich brown pigment is amazing for shadow, liner and as a brow filler! Talk about an incredibly economical 3-in-1 product made with 2 ingredients + natural colourant! This will be making it’s way to my make-up drawer immediately and will be something I add to my Essential Rewards orders on the regular!
Wholesale pricing: $26.00 CAD
May contain: Iron oxide (CI 77491), Iron oxide (CI77492). Iron Oxide (CI 77499), Titanium dioxide (CI 77891)
Wholesale pricing: $18.75 CAD
Spritz your make up brush a few times and apply your choice of foundation, eyeliner or eyeshadow! This mist is a great setter for after your application as well. Can’t wait to smell mine once it arrives, especially since it has some of my favourite smelling essential oils, like Black Spruce, Copaiba, Bergamot and Sage as well as vanilla fruit extract!
Now, my only question for you is, how will you NOT buy all of these incredible products
If you bought yourself a foundation, blush, bronzer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, Multi Tasker for brows, a lipstick, a lip gloss and the Mister Spray you’d be looking at an amazing and complete set for under $272.25 CAD!
This is an amazing company that we are all going to be so happy to have in our homes! Ask us how you can get on board with making the switch!
Part of the responsibility of becoming a business owner or moving into a leadership role in any capacity is developing new skills and becoming a better version of yourself. It’s part of growing as a person anyways, but we’ve really sped up this process (or took our sweet time getting here and needed the crash course version to catch up, whichever version of the story you like best – both are true in their own right) since starting our Network Marketing business. One area that almost all of the self-development or leaderships books we have read (or the podcasts we have listened to) refer to limiting beliefs. Also, how we tell ourselves that bullshit every single day without probably even realizing it.
Well, they can really be just about anything and you don’t have to be in business to have them. A limiting belief is something you tell yourself in your narrative (that little voice in your head you might not be aware of) that is false or untrue. Something that would generally be harmful in some way. They are what limits you from reaching new potential “in case it’s too hard” or what stops you from doing the things that you know will make your life better because you simply don’t believe you’re good enough.
All created by you. Ouch.
These are excuses.
It is your limiting beliefs that tell you otherwise. If you and five of your friends stood at the edge of the pool, do you all have the same opportunity to jump into the pool?
Does that seem like a dumb question?
Simply put, people stand at the edge of the pool and they either jump or they don’t. Why not? Ahhh, you might be catching on by now. Fear holds us back from opportunity, even as simple and fun as doing a cannon ball into the backyard pool. Then, let’s break down the situation and compare what happens with the people who counted down from 5 and took the leap of faith versus perhaps the one or two who didn’t.
Man! That water was freezing at first buy – hey! It actually feels great; refreshing for this hot summery day. Your friends who jumped into the pool are laughing, splashing and swimming. Maybe they get out of the pool, but what do they do next? Without hesitation most, if not all, of them will immediately jump back into the pool. Even if they were a bit fearful in the beginning, they jumped and now they know for sure that they’ll be more than ok. In fact, it was pretty fun.
How do you feel? Just writing this out I feel embarrassed and a bit sorry that I didn’t just go ahead and do it. And now one of two things might happen. The non-jumper might decide to slump into that bit of shame and not partake in the pool at all, OR, jump right in on round two as the previous jumpers head back into the pool.
The moral of the story is that standing on the edge of the pool might cause your heart to pound a little – and it’s a strange pool, you’ve never swam in it before. You don’t know what temperature it will be or if you’ll be able to touch the bottom. You know how to swim and none of the rest of that stuff matters anyways because it’s the narrative in your head saying, “that’s too scary!”.
Or, you will plan your life out the way you want it to go. That’s the whole point of starting this blog. Our whole entire purpose of being here is to keep sharing what we learn down our path to building a life our way. On purpose. Life was passing us by at an alarming rate and now we’re both in our mid-thirties getting our fresh start. We are almost two years into our new business and it’s true! We both wish we’d started five years ago! We’re here now – and we’re aware of that little narrative that says “hey, you have limits, remember?” and little by little, the more you ignore those thoughts, the more you realize that you begin to say, “where to now, boss?”.
Whatever your vehicle is to your freedom or living your life on purpose, do it before your limiting beliefs get the best of you. Don’t have a vehicle yet? Let’s talk and see if the one we’re driving is more your speed.