After being in business together for nearly two and a half years, I think it’s safe to say that we can offer some solid advice about working with your spouse full and part time. You’ll no doubt have different working styles and require different things in your space in order to be creative and productive. Quirks come out that you did not even know about your honey, and some of them will drive you absolutely mad. Sometimes, every once in a super blue blood moon (which is apparently happening January 31st for the first time in 150 years!), they even do something super cute that makes you fall in love with them. Sometimes. Rare, but be optimistic.
Colin loves to listen to music and, well, I need it to be super quiet when I am writing – which I am typically doing most of the time. We had to find a balance that worked well for both of us to be working from home, 100% of the time without disturbing the other all day long. But this post isn’t about the petty little annoyances that were truly few and far between…
Working alongside your spouse in business is a gift. In the last two and a half years we have learned so much about ourselves, about each other and about how to seamlessly stand beside one another to truly be the best versions of ourselves as possible. We’re better humans, better life partners and much better business partners because we embraced this incredible opportunity. Here are the top five amazing reasons to go into business with your spouse.
#1 – You get to celebrate every success with your significant other
Being a part of the ins and outs of your business venture together means not only can you anticipate a successful period, you can also fully celebrate it together. You don’t have to go home and talk to your partner about people they don’t know and challenges that you faced with other strangers while trying to portray how really cool this time is. You were both in the trenches, you both know the battles fought and won. You both know the lengths everyone went to. You’ll celebrate even more because of it.
Celebrating what you have accomplished together as a husband and wife team (or a boyfriend and girlfriend team, or a wife and wife team, or a partner and partner team, etc) is powerful for a couple. It is empowering, sexy, exhilarating, triumphant and it brings you even closer together as friends, confidants and life partners. A huge step forward in your business is always a huge step forward together in all ways. Working hard together in business always translates to establishing a closer, more resilient bond in your marriage.
#2 – Support one another through obstacles and challenges
It can be difficult to support your partner through work issues when you’re not really a part of, or understand, all of the dynamics involved. Being business partners allows you the opportunity to really fully see the whole spectrum. Supporting your partner during the more strenuous times is much easier because you’re present, you know your partner well and you can see their perspective, and often that of others. You are just as invested in the success of your business as your partner is and the dedication you have to ensuring that the obstacles and challenges are met with determination will only mean you’ll get through it together, better than you would on your own.
Having your own business can be pretty tricky sometimes, and so can marriage. We’re not here to promote perfection, but a more positive portrayal of what happy marriage life can and often does look like. If you can learn to reach for one another’s hand and march on no matter what, neither of you will accept anything less. There is nothing that you can not face.
#3 – Grow together as a team
You won’t ever wake up one day and realize that you have done all of this growing and your partner is not in the same place as you have found yourself. Or worse, that you both did so much growing but unfortunately in completely opposite directions. You hear about this often in failed marriages, and in the business world. When you are both working towards the same goals and the business is dependent on your cohesive partnership, well shit! You gotta be the best damn duo out there. And let me tell you something, if you make your marriage and your business THE priority, your marriage and your business will both be successful. There is no other option.
#4 – Together you bring entirely different skillsets and perspectives.
You and your partner see the world differently, no matter the similarity in goals and passions. You compliment each other, but you differ in likes and dislikes, you connect with people on different levels and opposite topics. One of you has more patience, another has a much better eye for details. This is the most brilliant aspect of married folk getting into business together. You don’t have to compete, because you complete each other in these ways. It’s why you were attracted to one another in the first place. You are a good match, the puzzle pieces fit. You compliment one another. Of course if this is true in marriage it would be true in the workplace, too.
Like all good things, this will take work, effort, communication, love and compassion.
#5 – Your partner knows you best
Even when you don’t recognize it, your partner will know when it’s time to step in and give you a break. And also force you to take one when you just don’t have that off switch they keep telling you about. Flip what? What switch? Am I right?
Your partner knows your greatest talents and your limitations and is always willing to meet you, help you, encourage you. How can this not be a huge positive in your business? This is an amazing opportunity to support each others’ qualities and learn new skills together. What’s amazing about this last point is that you have the opportunity to truly become better people, developing new skills and new perspectives together every single day.
Growing a business together is one of the most amazing adventures we have been on together yet. We ebb and flow, we lean on one another, sometimes we surprise each other and sometimes you miscommunicate, too. You learn to use these happenstances as tools, rather than fuel for an argument. You have constructive conversations instead of screaming matches. You learn much more effective communication skills. You can feel each other’s next move before it is made.
Marriage & Partnership
There are days when we drive each other into the madness, this blog isn’t all rainbows and puppies. However, we have grown light years from where we would have been without the expectations put on us because we chose to join together also in becoming leaders of a team of people who depend on us. Our network marketing business might just be the very best thing we could have done for our marriage, our future and, ultimately, our retirement.
We’re still so young in both aspects of marriage and business partnership, really. Today we have been together for 6 years and 4 months, married 2 years and 5 months. Our road has not always been easy but we have most certainly come to understand, like Colin’s Dad has told us,
“You two can not be apart! Nothing good happens when you’re away from each other”. – Colin McArthur Senior
I can’t imagine this journey without Colin because there is no one I’d rather tackle everything in this life with. We get to experience quite literally everything together and neither of us would have it any other way.
In the last four and a half years I have been working on understanding what I truly wanted to use my voice for. What is my message? What purpose do I serve?
It has always been my calling to become an entrepreneur. I have been both unsuccessful and successful in my ventures – all leading most recently to this passion project. One of the most valuable lessons taught to me in the last few years is to be consistently investing in my growth as a person. I came to understand this doesn’t just mean with self-development books or training from the greats. There is so much value in good relationships, good nourishment, good movement, and good healing. If I practiced good habits in each of those areas then I would be successful in my life.
It became clear that I needed to donate or throw away those old raggedy (insert everything one might have here that is old and raggedy) and spend the time and money investing in quality clothes, books, cookware, furniture, etc. Are you like me? Have you ever found yourself hovering over that “buy now” button at the check out screen with your cart full of something special for yourself? Ever had a hard time committing to hitting that?
Take a minute to stop and listen to the voices in your head.
Your mindset here is a checkpoint. Find clarity here.
We can say some pretty outrageous things to ourselves when we’re not paying attention.
Everyone has a narrative that plays on autopilot – I am so grateful I have taken the time to tune in and establish a more purposeful self-talk instead.
Many years ago I began taking an inventory and redirecting. Instead of allowing myself to say things like, “You can’t do that, you’ll never be enough, you’re scared and it will never work”, I would change the outlook and ultimately the outcome, “Let’s learn a new skill and find out how this can be done!”.
Building good habits starts long before you see any results. I felt like a failure many times, shed many tears, climbed many mountains and lost many a night sleep over the stress of decisions I’d made, hoping they were the right ones.
If you know me personally you might know that both Colin and I are big believers in manifestation and the law of attraction. This was something that took us a long time to realize the potential of and that it existed for anyone. one thing to attract what you desire into your life but it’s a whole other thing to say yes to the opportunity when it does, seemingly, land in your lap. What I mean is, nothing ever truly happens “out of nowhere”. A thought, a desire, a comment in passing – this all sends vibrations out into the world. And just like in the cartoons, the vibrations you send out are echoed back to you. You don’t have to believe in anything for this to be true. It’s just how it works.
Now, let’s consider this self talk again. The fact that your narrative runs on ‘autopilot’ is not necessarily a problem. The problem, however, could be the pilot.
Pick a new pilot with a wicked self-image, more confidence, and charisma, and voila! Set her (or him!) in that plush, comfortable seat, and buckle up before hitting that auto button again. Imagine your success rate now. As a confident pilot, nowhere is too far, even if you’ve never flown there before. This is what happens when you invest in good habits.
There is a kind of freedom you can’t find anywhere else when you begin to control the direction of your own plane.
I have a six-month-old daughter at the time of my writing this blog and I have said to her since birth, “ your life, your rules!”. I very much need for her to know that she is the creator in charge of her happiness. It’s important to me that I share this message with you, too.
I quit that bartending job. I started freelance writing which was a huge flop. Back to school, I went, I started a new business by accident and then I got married, started another new business (this one stuck!) and moved to our dream retire location some 20 years ahead of schedule. Why wait? In the time span listed just above was a matter of about 4 years and in that time I also addressed many relationship issues from family to friends and even the one I had with myself. I was a mess. I made better habits with the food I was nourishing my body with and began working on some serious trauma with an amazing Doctor of Chinese Medicine who helped me to release old patterns and center my energy again.
After many years of actively pursuing that better quality life, I found myself courageous enough to begin sharing who I was and what I had been through.
The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is– Jim Carrey
When people reached out in response to my sharing I was overwhelmed by the messages. So many others could see and feel themselves in my stories. My perspective on a certain stance I took helped to solidify a decision they were about to make. There were times I received messages thanking me for allowing others to open up their hearts to forgiveness and healing.
When I realized my courage and vulnerability could help others I was inspired to do more and let’s face it, I had a lot I could share. How much was too little? How much was too much? Did quantity matter? Would it matter if I was courageous in sharing trauma and grief in one area of my life but not another?
Through recent business training I saw for the first time just where my passion truly lies.
I want to connect with people – men and women – who are ready to do better in their lives in spite of trauma, in spite of background or any other reason you could have to not believe in yourself as a mother, father, wife, husband, leader, or just plain successful person. I recognized that I could help people connect to faith in themselves by sharing the faith I’d found by believing in myself. I’m not a therapist – I’m just a fellow human who has been through a lot of trauma and has never let it stop me from going after living an extraordinary life.
The Good Habit is a project where I am able to do just that.
I am committed to connecting with people looking to break free from their trauma traps. People who want to focus on healing their bodies and minds by putting in the effort to learn how they function when nourished with good food and good positive thoughts. I want to connect with people who are looking for healing on all levels – all by creating good habits.
These are all subjects I spend hundreds if not thousands of hours studying, researching, and talking to others about. These are areas I have put time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears into. I want to go deep. I want to bridge the gap between fear and faith with other people by sharing my struggles and my healing journey.
So that’s exactly what I’ll do.